I’ve had plenty of different employment experiences at this point in my life; cashier, bagger, nanny (tons of that), desk jockey, bar-tender, researcher, jewelry-slinger, teaching assistant, hospitality clerk, and the list goes on. So far I haven’t regretted any of it – the more you know the more you know. The worst places for me, as I’ve mentioned in an earlier post, were the desk gigs. Whether landscape architecture-oriented or something completely inane (I’m talking to you, For Rent Magazine…boooo), the ol’ desk is like a prison cell for me. I know, dramatic. But there are some things I look back on with a twinkle in my eye. Refreshing my coffee/hot chocolate/tea/various combinations therein every half hour, followed by trips to the restroom every half hour. Looking up flights to anywhere all day long and thinking of where I might go next (nowhere, really). Writing my serious bosses silly and lengthy emails. Keeping an ever-rotating stack of snacks in my desk drawer. Giving my coworkers and myself nicknames like “Balla,” “Shot Calla,” and “High Rolla.” I don’t know, it was a 2004 thing. Anyway, you get the idea – the “fun” stuff that keeps you afloat when you’re bogged down by the daily grind.
Here is how my days go now: drive to a client’s house, think of five new and hilarious blog posts on the way, forget them promptly when I arrive. Dig a bunch, like a LOT. Just tons and tons of digging. Poke myself on various sharp plants and say unpleasant things out loud, over and over and over like Groundhog Day. Install trees, shrubs, cacti, water harvesting stuff. Take 3 seconds to eat half a sandwich, giving just enough time so the bread momentarily lodges in my throat (quickly freak-out). Drink a gallon or two of water in between shovel-fulls. Listen to 8 solid hours of NPR, sometimes requiring me to place my $2 radio 4″ from my body to receive a clear signal (I might need some kind of harness where I can just strap it to my chest – ?). Go home and snarf a bunch of food, work on the blog, complete a new landscape drawing, and pass out on the couch watching The Americans (am I the only one?).
Ta-DA!!! (tappety-tappety-tappety-tap). Don’t be jealous, now.
At the end of the day I am so tired that I dream of an ambulance arriving to pick me up. They can just wheel me out on a stretcher, insert an I.V full of a life-giving concoction and painkillers, turn on the hoses to remove the top layer of dirt, and pull through any Mexican drive-thru so I can eat 7 cheese enchiladas before arriving home. That would be ideal. Just imagine the scene at the end of The Burbs, where Tom Hanks has lost it. Love that movie.
So obviously there are ups and downs to every line of employment. But it’s nice to be doing something where the time becomes fluid and early morning eases into afternoon without a gimmick or even as much as a glance at the clock.
On the topic of horrifying jobs, though, I just listened to this bit on the super jumbo container ship “Maersk McKinney Moller.” Holy moly – biggest in the world. Now, I’m not sure if the movie “Captain Phillips” was truly a good piece of cinema or not, but I soaked up every second of it and promptly added “container ships” to my specialized Google news feed. There’s a surprising amount of news out there on these beasts of the sea! And it’s almost never uplifting. So I’m going to go ahead and stick with what I’m doing right now and not look into becoming a large-vessel sea captain.
How does your day look? Do you have implementations to help pass the time? Are you happy with the benefits-to-horrors ratio?
That’s all the blathering for today, folks. More pertinent and interesting information coming up shortly. Have a fantastic Friday night!
